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October 28, 2016, 10:54pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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One of the image sites I 'live' in had a fun video of one of the new plastic bank notes being turned into a record player

And no, I didn't think to keep note of it...

All you have to do is get an vinyl record, place it on a turntable (or spin it somehow) and then hold the bank note loosely, with one corned resting gently in the record groove - and it plays as by magic (or maybe science).

Probably sounds as good as if the record was being played by a stylus and cartridge - I'm afraid I was never greatly impressed by records, with all the hassle of keeping them clean, and then still having my ears assaulted by all sorts of scratches and crackles from the surface, plus the thought of them being 'worn out' every time they were played. And then there's the deliberate distortion they have as the recorded signal is companded, in order to ensure the groove is on over-modulated, and encroached on the adjacent section on the disc.

I have to laugh every time I hear a 'hi-fi buff' praising the 'purity of vinyl' - these people clearly have no knowledge of how the signal is tortured as it laid down on the disc, and then has the torture 'undone' when the track is played.

And they think CDs or digital encoding spoiled it, and loses the original sound.

All they have done is 'tuned out' the distortion inherent in vinyl, and they cannot cope with the (relative) purity that digital brings. Their ears have been ruined by becoming accustomed to vinyl, and can't handle the cleaner digital reproduction, which they hear as 'distortion'.

I quite like my digital collection, and can turn the volume up properly, without having my fun ruined by HISS CRACKLE CLICK CLICK CLICK HISS CLICK CRACKLE etc etc etc every time there is a quiet part.

Oh

I mentioned the fiver because I was rather surprised to be hand one in my change, already!

Last time there was a new issue, I didn't see any for ages.

I love the see-through panel

RBS launch new polymer £5 note - Daily Record

Have to say I will miss, but not mourn, the old paper money.

Given that it was paper, I was almost most impressed at how tough it was, and how permanent the printing was.

One only had to leave some paper money, and something printed on ordinary paper, in a pocket and let it get into the washing.

While the money came out, you'd be lucky to anything recognisable back from the ordinary paper/print - often it turned into slops or mush!
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Russell W. Barnes
October 29, 2016, 8:44am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Admin


One only had to leave some paper money, and something printed on ordinary paper, in a pocket and let it get into the washing.

While the money came out, you'd be lucky to anything recognisable back from the ordinary paper/print - often it turned into slops or mush!


Don't let it go through the tumble-drier though, but...  It'll turn out the same size as Monopoly money!

The record trick will work with any diaphragm-like piece of material (as, indeed, diaphragms on early gramophones were made (mica), coupled to a steel needle (or perhaps a fine thorn needle for that quality sound).  The aforementioned makes it plain that many people feel more comfortable owning music in round, black, groovy tangible form, where all that is needed to reproduce it is rotation at the correct speed and a fiver.  You could almopst make something with a Hoover and some elastic bands.

Owning a CD is like owning a bucket of ephemeral ones and noughts which have to be clocked out on complicated apparatus.  A friend of mine's grandfather still scratches his heid when it's explained to him how all his 78s (and more) can be put inside an iPod!
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FordPerfect
October 29, 2016, 9:18am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Watch new plastic £5 note be RUBBED OUT with a pencil eraser

Apparently the new polyester notes (when new) stick together more than the paper notes - best leave that problem to the Scottish to resolve  
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October 29, 2016, 10:48am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from FordPerfect
Apparently the new polyester notes (when new) stick together more than the paper notes - best leave that problem to the Scottish to resolve  

Yes, I'm sure this 'problem' will be unknown in Scotland, and just considered to be some sort of myth by those north of the border

I also note that The Sun story refers to a Bank of England plastic note - obviously no Scot would attack a fiver with an eraser, and maybe render it worthless, or at least questionable, and maybe lose their money!

If you did not look at the comments after The Sun article, you might want to
Quoted Text
Paul Matthews

In the old days you could wipe your arse on a copy of the Sun......are ipad screens washable?

David Willey

Wow. That's amazing! You can also make an ipad screen go blank by putting it in the bath, and make pictures of fire on your TV have an amazing 3D effect by spraying the screen with hairspray and setting light to it.

Do I win £250????

Scruffyant

@David Willey HAHA... Wait for it... there will be a story in the sun, family with their 'victims faces' in their gutted out living room, saying... "We read this comment in the sun about getting a 3d fire effect on the tv using hairspray and a match.... "

Austroturf

I'm sure you can destroy a new fiver by setting fire to it. Not as durable as was first made out then...


The Sun...

Hours of fun - IF you can pick one up somewhere before someone wipes their a....
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October 31, 2016, 2:31am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Just realised (well, just LOOKED to be honest )

My plastic fiver is actually issued by the Clydesdale Bank, NOT the Royal Bank.

Unfortunately, just an ordinary number, does not look either low or interesting

It's of the Forth Bridge, and Sir William Arroll is featured.

Looked at the print, and it does not seem nearly as complex as that on the paper note, although there are some areas with a lot of detail, it is not as widespread.

I note the clear section appears to have a metallic gold hologram of Scotland on it, which is quite cute.

While I don't have an 'quick and dirty' infra-red imaging system I can kick into action, I assume some of the print is sensitive to infra-red, like the paper notes.

A quick UV check of the plastic note did show it carries the same sort of UV print as the paper note.

And... even a spooky coincidence (yes, ANOTHER one ) maybe since it is Halloween.

I might keep this first polymer note for show...

I found an almost identical newish paper fiver on my walk home tonight, which can replace it if I keep it, and this one was also Clydesdale Bank with same letters in the number, and was the St Kilda issue.

Oh...

NO, I will not be attacking this Clydesdale Bank plastic fiver to see if the ink rubs off!

I'm not a complete idiot (and I don't read The Sun, or rather, I don't look at the pictures )
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November 2, 2016, 8:46pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Well, THAT was interesting.

Popped into a charity shop today, and was somewhat embarrassed when the ladies handed me back the fiver I offered them for a small purchase, and told me it was a DUD!

I was more than a little surprised for moment, as the plastic fiver that started this thread meant I had been checking all the fivers I had, to compare the security marking.

Then it HIT me!

This must have been the Clydesdale Bank fiver I mentioned finding, and so had not been checked.

In fact, I just grabbed it this morning, as it had been soaked through as I had found it in a puddle, and I had to hang it up to dry.

I had no real reason to suspect it either, since ordinary paper and print don't usually survive any time in a puddle in the street, and this fiver had not fallen apart, and the print/ink had not dissolve thank to its soaking (and probably being walked on).

However...

It does not appear to have the proper UV markers present when examined (it appeared all white under the UV lamp in the shop), but on the other hand, under more careful examination, some areas do appear to fluoresce, but I don't have another CB note to compare, so this may just be the paper!

Examining the fine detail of the print shows... well, there does not seen to be any fine detail, and this is one of the standard security measures on a paper note.

While a note can be copied and printed by laser (if it will even do that, as there are other security features built in to prevent that), even a good laser cannot print the sort of detail found on a real note from a printing press.

So that seems to suggest a genuine fake.

unfortunately, as this fiver was found in the street, it was not exactly 'neat and tidy', but even so, when examined under magnification, it seems to have paper damage which real banknote paper would not be expected to show.

So...?

It looks as if I found a dud someone threw away.

Oh well, I can add it to my collection.

I have a few tenners I was given many years ago.

There are obvious duds, although I don't know the real intent behind them - the chap I was working with then had been in 'security' for some years (and I don't mean a private security firm, I mean with a branch of 'The Authorites'), and just handed them out for fun.

They really were Mickey Mouse stuff. They were accurate representations, but were printed only in red (I think the predominant colour of a tenner back then), and when felt, definitely not on real banknote paper.

I think they were props, maybe for stage or TV use, as that would have been the sort of sight needed to make them at least look real.

But then the imagination can run riot, and given his job, they could have been for something 'heavy'.

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FordPerfect
November 29, 2016, 12:04pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Vegans call for Bank of England to SCRAP new £5 notes because they contain animal fat | Daily Mail Online

A specific animal fat  (beef stated|) -  that is hard to believe      or  cow + sheep , pig & whatever blended    
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November 29, 2016, 8:01pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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So, my observations on 'social media' being great for mindless belly-rumbling to be used to publicise nonsense continues

As has already been noted:

Can't believe this is actually causing a fuss


Looney vegans and vegetarians are cat-killers, so no sympathy.

And anyway...

Why are they eating banknotes?
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November 29, 2016, 8:05pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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I was thinking about pig by-products  
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November 30, 2016, 5:42pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Hindus urged not to donate new fivers at Leicester temple - BBC News

Cow too  ,,   should be a crapstorm heading somebody's  way    
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Animal fat in new £5 note offensive, says Sikh activist - BBC News

Some people, to use a rather well-worn phrase, need to 'Get a Life', so they can have some REAL problems to deal or live with.

These clearly have too much free time to spend contemplating their navels.

Perhaps we need a list of who they are...

Follow that with a list of all the products/objects that are similarly affected by the 'NEW' problem.

Then we can follow them, and make sure they cannot touch or purchase any of those items.

I suspect the reality is that if we micro-analyse every product encountered nowadays, MANY of them will fail this test they have invented.

Since they could not live here, they could then leave, letting the rest of us get on with a reasonable existence, while they follow their 'pure and privileged' on some desert island away from the rest of us, and our dirty contamination that so offends them.

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JadeFalcon
November 30, 2016, 9:11pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Without trying to sound offensive , does this mean we risk a new Indian mutiny?  
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Presently - we don't know if Scottish £5 notes are like greasy English £5 notes .  NE England was never too enthusiastic about accepting Scottish banknotes , around Y2K - nobody would accept them , due to bad photo-copies circulating    
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Better solution...

Have everyone fill in a questionnaire before they are handed their change, so they can choose beforehand, and not be offended.

We could then have special 'Fast Service Lanes' for those who are fussy, and they can choose to leave WITHOUT their change if they think it may offend them.

And then we can have MY LANE, where I will happily collect ALL the offensive money they have left behind
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FordPerfect
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Bet these pressure groups never ever considered a analysis of banknote real deal paper   ,  God only knows what was added to tree-wood mulch as a binder    

Probably animal bone glue    
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Question answered
Quoted Text
The company that produces Scottish polymer banknotes has admitted they contain "minute traces" of animal fat.

The three main Scottish banks, Clydesdale Bank, Bank of Scotland and Royal Bank of Scotland, had been told that the £5 notes were vegan-friendly.

However, De La Rue, which makes the notes, said more detailed analysis had revealed animal derivative equivalent to a maximum of 0.003% per banknote.

A spokesman said it was trying to address the problem with its suppliers.

Traces of animal fat in Scottish polymer banknotes, producer says - BBC News
0.003% per banknote!

30 ppm (part per million)

If I may refer to my earlier note...

LOONIES!

If that upsets them, then I suggest they wrap themselves in plastic (preferably plastic bags with no air holes) as they will be bumping into people with leather (and other animal product) clothing and accessories on a daily basis.

Not to mention sitting on leather (COW!) seats, especially if they get into a car, with many now having leather seats, and not even having to be 'luxury' class nowadays.

Then there's the dust on the ground and and floors, as animal products wear and bits fall off.

How do these loonies and fanatics cope with that?

Then let's think about the air, which is full of particulates from animal products, and no doubt measurable in ppm at least somewhere.

These idiots just look stupider and stupider the more you think about their 'complaint' which is nothing more than 'making a fuss' because they can now, thanks to 'social media'.

A few years ago, there would simply have been no way for nonsense such as this to gain any traction, and the story would have died.
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Here's some better fun for sensible folk to have with the new polymer fivers - although I've only seen Scottish ones so far, not any Churchill types.
Quoted Text
A Scottish art gallery is joining forces with an artist known as “the world’s smallest engraver” to stage a Willy Wonka-style challenge involving the new five pound notes.

Tiny portraits of Jane Austen have been added on to four of the notes, next to the images of Sir Winston Churchill and Big Ben, by Graham Short, who famously engraved the words of the Lord’s Prayer on to the head of a pin.

Classic quotes from Emma, Pride and Prejudice, and Mansfield Park have also been engraved on to the Bank of England notes, which go into circulation this weekend.

Although the outline of the golden engraving may be visible to the naked eye, a microscope will be needed to see the engraving properly.

Artist Tony Huggins-Haig, who has staged regular exhibitions by Short at his gallery in Kelso, believes they could be worth upwards of £20,000 each.

Willy Wonka-style challenge launch with new 'plastic fivers' - The Scotsman

What a shame the poor loonies will not be able to touch these notes, and be unable to get close enough to look for the miniatures.

No, not a shame at all, they deserve to lose or be denied £20,000 for all the nonsensical fuss they have caused

If they did find one somehow, it should be a condition of sale that they payment is made in fatty fivers!
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December 3, 2016, 11:19am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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I opened this thread with a reference to vinyl, so this was posted recently...

A vinyl record at around 1000x magnification


Actually managed to find the animated version too

Vinyl record under electron microscope


And another one, unfortunately showing why it's not as good as its fans claims, unless you live in a Class 100 Clean Room

Vinyl record zoomed in 500x
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Shocking vegan traitor!!!

She will have her ticket cancelled for uttering these sensible words
Quoted Text
Sam East, 44, has been a vegan for 25 years.

She believes people can "only do the best they can" when it comes to avoiding traces of animals in what they eat, or what they use - and she says she will be using the new £5 notes.

"I am not happy about the money but we are foolish as vegans to think this is the only thing that has got past us," she said.

"It's about choice and control - what can I do if it's out of my control?

"Processing film used to use gelatine, so vegans would have unknowingly been doing that for years when they got their photos printed.

"Because we didn't know that, does it make us any less vegan?"

How difficult is it to avoid animal products in everyday life? - BBC News

It's a longish article, but I'm pleased to see that others are sick of the stupid posturing of the fanatics.

It's a shame the sane approach of Sam Egan is not the norm for many vegan loonies - they'd probably have more supporters and fewer mocking them.

True vegans should not breath... they should not even take a breath and hold it

Since the air around us bound to be full of microscopic animal particles.

And let's not forget - ordinary household dust is not a product of quantum physics, popping in and out of existence at random... but is largely skin tissue, shed from people, and people are... animal!

And then there's cat dander too - and cats are... animal!

And, dare I mention methane?

AKA cow farts, of which there are tonnes and tonnes emitted every single day.

They may not be animal, but by vegan logic, MUST be contaminated - unless they came out the cow's backside while somebody held the cheeks apart
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February 15, 2017, 1:46pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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In a rare application of a now almost long forgotten concept - Common Sense:

New £5 note: Bank to keep note despite animal fat content - BBC News

The only regret can be that they did not tell the loonies to 'Get A Life' all the way back at the start.
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Typical Daily Record and Co mis-reporting to get a fake news headline

Fake new £5 notes are in circulation - here's how to spot them - Daily Record

While the headline and video presenter say there are fakes of the new £5 note, the story details states NO examples of fake polymer notes have been found, and they have no examples on show, in pics or in video, despite their audacious claim.

There is a small mention of the new fiver being copied onto paper.

That hardly counts as a 'forgery'.

But...

Who's that going to fool?

Yeh, ok, APART for DR, DM, Sun etc etc
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I'm sorry, but while I'm usually quite intrigued to see what sort of ingenuity can be applied to destroy something, that interest is reserved for situations and items where the destruction is carried out in some way that related to the normal use of the item.

This fiver destruction stuff is the stuff of nonsense, just silly, and definitely NOT CLEVER.

It's not even funny after the first few times.

While these clowns run around looking smug and getting praise for working out how to destroy the new polymer fiver - nobody seems to be brave enough to point out that if they applied many of the techniques to the old paper fiver, it would not do much better.

And neither of them would survive the application of a simple pair of scissors, craft knife, shredder, or match plus petrol or similar.

This stuff is about as pointless as most of the rubbish you will find in so-called 'lifehacks' - where you would be quicker to ignore the lifehack and just so something sensible instead.

New fiver is not so indestructible - if you know how - BBC News

Here's a shock surprise...

I bet I could trump all these clever methods of destroying the new fiver (and probably any piece of currency for that matter, including coinage) simply by wrapping a piece of C4 with it, and detonating it.

SMART!

That's me
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Penultimate photograph , the hair       -  says it all    
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He's well known online - I've been watching his videos and explanations for a long time now.

He really is a 'Clever Chappie' - even if he did descend to the depths with the sad fiver effort, his material is usually considerably better.
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Routine Wiki warning applies for  DM  (Mail)

Fake  £5 notes / Fake news or both    

£5 notes left so tattered that the Big Ben rubs away | Daily Mail Online
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Well THIS will be fun!

For the folk who still relish the joy of refusing Scottish banknotes and say that are not 'real' money...

PRINT and CARRY the following if visiting England.


Quoted Text
SCOTTISH banks' paper £5 notes are not being withdrawn from circulation - as preparations are made to phase out their Bank of England equivalents.

The Bank of England's paper fivers will cease to be legal tender from Friday, meaning that shops can refuse to accept them - though banks should still exchange them for the new polymer versions.

The decision to move to polymer notes was taken because they are cleaner, safer and stronger than paper notes. Polymer notes provide enhanced counterfeit resilience and increase the quality of notes in circulation.

A spokesman for the Committee of Scottish Clearing Bankers, which represents Bank of Scotland, Clydesdale Bank and Royal Bank of Scotland, said previously: "The paper Scottish fivers are not being withdrawn from circulation, they are just not being reissued.

"They don't have a withdrawal date as such similar to the English £5 notes."

The Bank of England's polymer fiver entered circulation in September and since then it has been circulating in tandem with the paper note.

Retailers have been accepting the paper £5 notes - although the polymer notes have been in circulation - but can start to refuse them by Saturday.

The Bank of England website states: "All Bank of England notes retain their face value for all time.

"If your bank, building society or Post Office is not willing to accept these notes they can be exchanged with the Bank of England in London by post or in person."

The old paper £5 notes, once withdrawn from circulation are already being recycled using a composting treatment, similar to the treatment of food waste.

Scottish paper fivers still valid as Bank of England version is withdrawn
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PLEASE...

Can I add vegetarian/vegan loonies to my collection?

(Note I did not say vegetarians or vegans!)

Apparently they are writing 'Health Warnings' on fivers now - I wonder if any animal products are used in ballpoint plastics, or the ink? THAT would be ironic

Anyway, enjoy:

A Very Precise Calculation of Exactly How Many Cows Are Being Murdered to Make the New Fivers - VICE

Seriously, if anything was going to make me look with contempt, or perhaps pity, at vegetarians or vegans, then this over-reaction regarding the 'tallow fiver' would be it.
Quoted Text
So while it's estimated that 2.6 million cattle are slaughtered each year for human consumption in the UK, there are nearly 100,000 signatures so far on a petition to save just one cow from being ritualistically murdered and fed into Britain's Royal Mint machines.

Here are some e-petitions that revolve around the same theme – the value of animal life – that currently have less signatures at the time of writing:

– Shutting down the UK's domestic ivory trade has 71,416 signatures.
– Increasing the maximum sentence for animal cruelty charges has 51,473 signatures.
– Ending the badger cull has 63,461 signatures.

£5 note received from customer
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Do you think these people sit up all night, staring at the new fiver, and desperately try to find something they can whine about in public, in the hope of getting their 'Five minutes of fame'?

It's really getting a bit tired now, and as I said previously, how about we do the same with the old fivers, with the same level of micro-analysis and lack of tolerance and understanding, and see how 'perfect' they are when the same level of hate is shown towards them.

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